John McCain is so old his bones are fossils.

John McCain is so old scientists cite him as evidence when arguing against the creationist belief in a young earth.

John McCain is so old his parents couldn’t buy him a car for his sixteenth birthday because the wheel hadn’t yet been invented.

John McCain is so old his high school chemistry book listed only four elements: earth, water, wind and fire.

John McCain is so old he donated his childhood keepsakes to the natural history museum.

John McCain is so old he remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.

John McCain is so old he thinks a website is where a spider builds its home.

John McCain is so old he wrote his first legislation in hieroglyphs.

John McCain is so old he walked into an antiques store and they sold him.

John McCain is so old his first aftershave was New Spice.