John McCain is so old his favorite video game is Grand Theft Chariot.

John McCain is so old his first suit was a toga.

John McCain is so old all his old flames are burnt out.

John McCain is so old he remembers when doornails were still alive.

John McCain is so old he was the first to pull the oldest trick in the book.

John McCain is so old when he says “I feel like a million” he means years, not bucks.

John McCain is so old he remembers when your thoughts only cost half a pence.

John McCain is so old he didn’t just read “The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire,” he lived it.

John McCain is so old he remembers when the Amish were on the technological cutting edge.

John McCain is so old his first American flag pin had 13 stars.