John McCain is so old his first Thanksgiving was the first Thanksgiving.

John McCain is so old not even Chuck Norris can count the years.

(h/t JS)

John McCain is so old the first Straight Talk Express was a Conestoga wagon.

John McCain is so old first hearing aid was powered by steam.

John McCain is so old his political rivals hire archaeologists to dig up dirt on him.

John McCain is so old when he says he’s 71 he means decades, not years.

John McCain is so old he thinks an iPod is some sort of sleeping bag.

John McCain is so old he once interned for Abraham Lincoln.

John McCain is so old he’s not just at death’s door, he’s in death’s foyer.

John McCain is so old during the last ice age he was for global warming.