John McCain is so old he sleeps in a coffin – just in case.

John McCain is so old the candles cost more than his birthday cake.

John McCain is so old scientists say he’s the missing link.

John McCain is so old the first time he visted Alaska he walked there from Asia on the Bering land bridge.

John McCain is so old he once visited the troops at Valley Forge.

John McCain is so old he remembers when the Grand Old Party was just the Grand Party.

John McCain is so old he has quit buying green bananas.

(h/t h)

John McCain is so old he thinks a search engine is a kind of train.

John McCain is so old he has circumnavigated the globe by means of continental drift.

John McCain is so old his first cat was saber-toothed.