John McCain is so old when he heard war had broken out in Georgia he reminisced about the burning of Atlanta.

(h/t JF)

John McCain is so old he spent his college spring breaks partying in Sodom and Gomorrah.

John McCain is so old when the phone rings he answers the TV remote.

John McCain is so old everything he buys has a lifetime guarantee.

John McCain is so old that’s not hair on his head, it’s mold.

John McCain is so old his trophy wife is in her 50s.

John McCain is so old all during the Olympics he kept complaining that it just wasn’t the same since they dropped chariot racing.

(h/t JF)

John McCain is so old the last time he tried to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom Mary refused his advances and Abe threw him out of the house.

John McCain is so old he sometimes forgets how many houses he owns.

John McCain is so old he remembers when the Garden of Eden was just a vacant lot.